Find Where You Fit In, Then Stand Out: The Magnetic Pull of Community

As a community builder, it's not enough to fit in. You have to stand out.

The key is finding that delicate balance. Just enough like the people you want to attract, but just different enough that they're curious.

There's a fine line between being familiar enough to be trusted and unique enough to be followed.

Once you see it, you can't unsee it.

Adding a Twist

It's not starting a side hustle; it's traveling nurses starting side hustles.

It's not classical music; it's heavy metal guitars playing classical music.

It's not working out, it's earning your splat score at the local Orange Theory™.

You Have to Fight Fitting In

Following is our default setting, but it's not going to help you acheive your community based goals.

It's 100% the right thing to do when you first join a group, audience, or community. This is your "fitting in" phase. As you start to expand your work and influence, you'll have to ditch this early strategy.

Why is this so hard?

Social anxiety is real, and we feel social consequences acutely.

As you transition to leading, however, it's critical that you have one or more distinguishing qualities.

Recognize this resistance. It's innate and real. Embrace it.

Think of how the people you follow / interact with stand out. What makes one podcast, author, creator, etc., your first choice?

Simple Moves Still Stand Out

But it doesn't have to be that much work (or high risk either). Here are a few simple ways that creators differentiate themselves simply with a signature item.

• Alex Hormozi wears a nasal strip during business videos.
• Seth Godin wears uniquely colored, round spectacles for everything.
• The Rock is just another wrestler until he locks in that trademark eyebrow raise.
• Jack Butcher's simple black and white visuals are clearly his handiwork.

Harness the Power of Uniqueness

Now that you understand the rules, you can start the process of finding what makes you stand out. Can't find it? Let's make something!

Identify Your Quirks: Reflect on what makes you uniquely you. What are the hobbies, habits, or viewpoints you hold that others find unusual?

What do other people introduce you as?

Embrace Your Differences: Instead of downplaying these aspects, highlight them. Your unique traits are what make you memorable.

Lean into these qualities. Hiding is for followers.

Communicate Your Quirks: Share your unique perspectives or habits openly. Whether it's through social media, your website, or in-person interactions, let your individuality shine.

Life's too short to wait for other people to figure you out.

Create Memorable Moments

Don't stop at the basics, however. How you conduct yourself at work, online, in-person...these are all also differentiating characteristics.

The here here with interactions is to not over-index on them. Dramatic entrances work really well once; repeatedly they become pretty exhausting and predictable.

Here are some simple way you can anchor your presence.

Initiate Unconventional Conversations: Don't settle for traditional small talk. It's okay to shake things up.

Dive in with something more specific; "When's the last time you felt shocked? Why?"

Or instead of just accepting silence on a video call, call someone out for not really being dialed in. Ask them why they are here, what they want.

Incorporate Surprising Elements into Presentations: Have a great prop or short story to share, as long as it fits into the flow. Even a well-laid out video background can do the trick with the right placement.

Challenge Norms: Regularly question things that are status quo elsewhere. Bring a different perspective, don't settle for the first anwer, or explore the extreme ends of conversations. By doing this, you invite others to think differently and pay attention.

• What would the opposite of "X" mean for our project?
• What other solutions or opportunites exist here?
• What are we not seeing right now?
• Let's presume that our project fails...what was the cause?

Attract Through Authenticity

When you link your uniqueness to your true identity, you can beneft from the aura of authenticity that others sense in your interactions.

Subtle remarks or asides can communicate volumes. And don't underestimate the power of active listening!

Share Your Journey: Be open about the times you've felt out of place and how those moments have shaped you. Authenticity attracts.

Encourage Others to Be Unconventional: Create a space where others feel safe to share their unique traits and ideas. Go first so that others may follow.

Highlight the Value of Uniqueness: Through your actions and words, emphasize how being different is not just acceptable but a superpower in connecting with others.

The Power of Standing Out

In the end, this isn't about seeking attention for attention's sake. Authentically embracing who you are, quirks and all, helps create a meaningful connection with your audience.

When you dare to be different, you inspire others to embrace their uniqueness.

This approach fosters a community that values diversity and innovation, driving positive change and creating a space where everyone feels empowered to share their unique voice.

In a sea of sameness, it's your distinct waves that will make the biggest splash.

Jump in, the water's fine.

As a community builder, it's not enough to fit in. You have to stand out.

The key is finding that delicate balance. Just enough like the people you want to attract, but just different enough that they're curious.

There's a fine line between being familiar enough to be trusted and unique enough to be followed.

Once you see it, you can't unsee it.

Adding a Twist

It's not starting a side hustle; it's traveling nurses starting side hustles.

It's not classical music; it's heavy metal guitars playing classical music.

It's not working out, it's earning your splat score at the local Orange Theory™.

You Have to Fight Fitting In

Following is our default setting, but it's not going to help you acheive your community based goals.

It's 100% the right thing to do when you first join a group, audience, or community. This is your "fitting in" phase. As you start to expand your work and influence, you'll have to ditch this early strategy.

Why is this so hard?

Social anxiety is real, and we feel social consequences acutely.

But it doesn't have to be that much work (or high risk either). Here are two simple ways that two creators differentiate their material.

• Alex Hormozi wears a nasal strip during business videos.
• Seth Godin wears uniquely colored, round spectacles in all of his video work.

As you transition to leading, however, it's critical that you have one or more distinguising qualities.

In a world saturated with voices clamoring for attention, the cost of blending in is becoming increasingly steep. For community-based businesses and leaders aiming to make an impact, the failure to differentiate oneself can lead to obscurity. This obscurity not only muffles the unique value you offer but also makes it challenging to connect with those who genuinely need your message. In essence, when you blend in too well, you risk not being seen at all, diluting the potential to enact positive change within your community.

1. Harness the Power of Uniqueness

Break the Mold

• Identify Your Quirks: Reflect on what makes you uniquely you. What are the hobbies, habits, or viewpoints you hold that others might find unusual?
• Embrace Your Differences: Instead of downplaying these aspects, highlight them. Your unique traits are what make you memorable.
• Communicate Your Quirks: Share your unique perspectives or habits openly. Whether it's through social media, your website, or in-person interactions, let your individuality shine.

2. Create Memorable Moments

Leverage Uncomfortable Situations

• Initiate Unconventional Conversations: Start discussions on topics that are often overlooked but resonate deeply with you. This could be anything from an unusual hobby to a bold business idea.
• Incorporate Surprising Elements into Presentations: Like Alex Hormozzi's nose strip, add something unexpected to your webinars or meetings. It could be a unique visual aid or an unconventional way of presenting information.
• Challenge Norms: Regularly question the status quo in your field. By doing so, you invite others to think differently and pay attention.

3. Attract Through Authenticity

Embrace the Awkward

• Share Your Journey: Be open about the times you've felt out of place and how those moments have shaped you. Authenticity attracts.
• Encourage Others to Be Unconventional: Create a space where others feel safe to share their unique traits and ideas.
• Highlight the Value of Uniqueness: Through your actions and words, emphasize how being different is not just acceptable but a superpower in connecting with others.

The Power of Standing Out

In the end, the journey to stand out is not about seeking attention for attention's sake. It's about authentically embracing who you are, quirks and all, to make a meaningful connection with your audience. When you dare to be different, you not only capture attention but also inspire others to embrace their uniqueness. This approach fosters a community that values diversity and innovation, driving positive change and creating a space where everyone feels empowered to share their unique voice. Remember, in a sea of sameness, it's your distinct waves that will make the biggest splash.